Devil or Angel?

I enjoy watching cartoons that portray someone with a devil (equipped with horn and spiked tail) on their one shoulder, and an angel (adorned in white with shiny halo) on their other shoulder. Maybe that's because today I'm identifying with those cartoon characters (more specifically today, the red one.)

I wish life were as simplistic in message as a cartoon, but life is more complex than that. I have days when I don't want to be near my loved one with AD (pitchfork armed and ready to fire) and other days when it's okay no matter how the visit goes (halo shinning and straight). The thing that stinks most about this disease is that one minute you're riding through rainbows, then suddenly your trajectory rides straight into the dark abyss. Never steady, never predictable, always outside of your control.

Right now the devil is whispering more loudly into my ear. Judge me if you must, but until you can relate to me with your empathy gene, you won't really understand my feelings. And, I don't judge you if you're a bit disappointed in me. My prayer is that you'll never need to experience this disease. My prayer is that there will soon be a cure, and none of us need live this disease or watch those we love suffer from this disease.

There's a popular saying, "hate the sin, not the sinner." Today I'm saying, "hate Alzheimer's, not your loved one."

If you have a loved one with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia, or have ever experienced the devastation of these diseases, you can relate. I'd love to hear your comments, whether you're feeling good or evil today.